Surviving the Mommy Wars

This has been talked to death over the internet, but I felt the need to put my 2 cents in, whatever they are worth.

I usually stay out of the “Mommy wars”, being that my only child is 10 years old and way past the stage that a lot of these topics are on, but as a mom, it still bothers me to see women fighting over things. Passion on a subject is one thing, but making other moms feel inadequate is another. As moms and wives, we have a hard job. We have a society that has been doing a pretty good job at making us feel inadequate for quite a while. It’s time we start supporting each other, rather than tearing each other down.


I should probably back up and tell you what “Mommy Wars” are in case you have been living under a rock (or maybe you are a new mom and haven’t had the pleasure of your first Mommy War experience just yet). Mommy Wars are subjects that are of high debate in the mommy world that have moms divided. Subjects that are common war-zones:

  • Breastfeeding vs. Formula
  • Vaccinations vs. non-vaxing
  • Rear Facing Toddlers vs. turning forward at a year of age
  • Cloth diapers vs. Disposable ones
  • and on and on…

As you can see, a lot of these subjects no longer apply to me as a mom of a tween, but they were once a very important part of my life at one point.

Here is my thoughts on the issues as a whole: Do what works best for your family and your babies. Make sure when you do make a choice, you research it so you know it fits best for your family and your babies. When it comes to our kids and families, knowing what choice you are making and having it be an educated choice is always the best a mom can do. My advice for educating yourself? Find the most non-biased source for your information. Look at the FACTS not just opinions.

Don’t feel bad about your choices. Ever. It’s the best we all can do that matters.

If you made a choice in the past about these issues and wish you could have done it differently.. don’t beat yourself up over it. You are not a failure.

As far as educating others, do so only if they are open to it. Make sure to cite factual, non-biased sources. Never make someone feel bad for making a choice you wouldn’t. It’s not only insulting, but really, unless the person wants to make a different choice, it’s none of your business.  I love that moms are getting so much more information these days and not following what the media tells us and what society shoves on us as the truth. Just make sure you are not acting as the next “pusher” and know when to agree to disagree.

If you are on the receiving end of a mommy missile attack on your choices, the best thing you can do is listen. You never know, you may actually learn something when you let your guard down.

We all could spread a bit more love in our mommy community and learn to tolerate others’ choices. If you really feel strongly about something, the best thing you can do is be honey. You catch more flies with it after all.

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